Questions are an inseparable part of our lives. Our mood on hearing the question depends on the answer we have for it. A question like “Did you win?” will make you feel proud and happy if you actually won and sad and inferior if you have lost. But there are some questions that irrespective of having a positive or negative answer will irritate us. The reason being their answers invite unnecessary opinions and suggestions that may lead us to confusion, irritation and doubt. These are mostly personal or very personal questions that many are not comfortable answering.
1. When will you marry?
Once you complete your studies and are earning this question is sure to pop up at least in Indian society. People here are more concerned to see you settled than you yourself. And if you have crossed mid-twenties and the answer is negative then this question will haunt you like a nightmare. If you have a positive answer to it then be prepared to reveal all further details like whom are you marrying? Have you crossed checked his/her background? Have you matched your compatibility with your partner as divorce rates have gone up? If you are marrying at an early age then an opinion will come that now–a-days people concentrate on their career first then get married. If it is inter-caste then be prepared for a list of suggestions from inexperienced people that if followed may bring in adjustment problems. When Dorothy who was seeing a man for 2 years was asked this question by a relative she aptly replied, “Will surely invite you aunty”.
2. How much you earn?
Imagine you have got this promotion and are letting everyone know about it proudly and someone pops up this question. Definitely your enthusiasm will reduce to 50% of what was before. Even if you are personally happy with your pay still you will be concerned about its comparison with others. And exactly this will happen. Whatever your pay is someone in the neighbourhood, family or friend of your age is earning more than you and you will be immediately reminded about the same. This will not only kill your happy mood but also make you feel inferior. Ravi when asked by his neighbour this question answered, “I earn enough to keep my family happy.”
3. What are your future plans?
Those who have no concern with your life, don’t even know you properly, your likes dislikes and your areas of interest are all set to discuss your future in length and breadth sometimes leaving you doubting your own decision. Now-a-days parents give liberty to their kids to make their career choice and future plans but few people just cannot stay without poking their nose into others business. If you decide to work for some company opinions about entrepreneurship will flaunt, if you want to start a business then information about declining markets of that business will leave you confused, if you decide on job change then talks about how people are getting foreign postings will irritate you. If you decide on an out of track career choice like being an artist or photographer then be prepared to back up your choice with proper answers. As it is often tweeted and said, “Never plan your future with people who don’t have a future plan.”
4. Are you still in touch with your Ex?
It is a very personal question and it is better to avoid answering even to your friends. Once you are in a relationship, go through a break-up and are still are in touch with your Ex it is hard to believe that you are just friends. This may hamper your current relationship, bring in jealousy and invite a lot of gossiping from others. This question asked by your near and dear ones will incite you to give a negative answer even if you are lying especially if you were dumped. And you would not like others to know that you still have feelings for a person who dumped you. As Muhammad Ali said, “Silence is golden when you can’t think of a good answer.”
5. Do you love me?
An easy question to answer if feelings are correct. But this same question becomes tough when you are contemplating a break-up or are fed up of your relationship. You may lie ample times because you do not want to hurt a person who loves you. Lying will bring in more frustration in you as you see no future of the relationship. Instead of cheating on your partner it is better to be honest. As Lauryn Hill quotes, “Be honest, brutally honest. That is what going to maintain relationships.”
So next time these questions pop up do not avoid them or get defensive, try to tactfully change the topic or interrupt if you feel uncomfortable and just move away.