Relationship

Art of loving yourself

By Lishita Jain

April 26, 2017

At some point in life, we’ve all been where we found ourselves lost, tired, clueless, full of doubts and drained out of any kind of inspiration. At some point, we all have been too hard on ourselves wherein we have set unrealistic expectations for ourselves. We’ve all made mistakes and screwed up at some point, and have still not been able to forgive ourselves. Years have passed without any substantial practice of self-care, self-love, or self-acceptance.

We have let the bricks of hate, dissatisfaction, anger, regret add up one by one, building an enormous wall of self-loathing, without any trace of self-love. We, especially women, have put our needs second to the needs of those around us and in this course of life, we have forgotten to take care of the most important person in our lives; ourselves. So this, right here, is a reminder to warm up to yourself, to break that wall of self-loathing, to start loving yourself, to start pampering yourself the way you have always pampered your loved ones and to start giving yourself the long overdue priority in your life.

The first and foremost relationship anyone can have is with themselves, and how you treat yourself actually sets the standard for how you will love and treat others around you; and just like, how charity begins at home, a person who is not happy and fulfilled from within, can never make people around them happy. Therefore putting yourself first doesn’t mean everyone else has to lose out on what you have to give. In fact, you’ll have so much more to give, if you give to yourself first.

If you’ve been too hard on yourself, or if you’ve been broken for far too long, loving yourself will be a conscious day- to- day decision, which you will have to practice earnestly, with all your heart to make it into a habit. Start with focusing on trying to find out, what went wrong? Ask yourself, what needs to be fixed? And what is stopping you from loving yourself? Now what comes next is either change or acceptance. Change what you can’t accept or accept what you can’t change. Accept the fact that you are only human, and like every human, you are not perfect. Practice self-acceptance and try to figure out who you are and what is your calling in life. Start with believing in yourself and in your values, which is very important, as if you won’t believe in yourself, hardly anyone will! Then comes the most difficult part; learn to forgive yourself, stop holding on to the past, let go of the shame, free yourself from the all the burden that’s been weighing you down, and instead, make amends, strive to be the best version of yourself. Practice self-care and self-love. Make time for the things that make you happy, and nurture your soul. Keep your body nourished and hydrated and get ample amount of sleep. Take me- time out daily and exercise, do yoga, meditate, listen to music, do gardening, write, read, or any other activity that works like therapy for you. Last but not the least it’s very critical to not give up, even when you feel frustrated, hold on tight, and keep going. Take a leap of faith, and do that thing you’ve always been afraid to do.

It’s also important to consciously incorporate some changes in your thinking pattern; judge less, speak well of others, think positively, practice gratitude, and radiate positivity. A very important facet of loving yourself is eliminating all things toxic from your life, that have been hampering your personal growth, space, and happiness. Cut off everything that makes you feel small; things, people, jobs, your own beliefs or habits. Stop comparing yourself to others, and believe that your only competition is you. Look at the simple joys in life, and savour them, and always remember ‘loving yourself is the greatest revolution.’