Before You Tie The Knot Take care.

There used to be a time when the fiancés were discouraged to meet too often before marriage. The old wives in the family would be wary of any untoward talk or incident that could lead to breaking of the alliance before the wedding takes place. But times have changed now. Now, families encourage their boys and girls to meet and understand their future life-partner well before they enter matrimony. Getting married is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. You should never rush into engagement or marriage. Rather, you must best utilise the courtship period to understand your to-be life-partner, develop a marital friendship, learn your pluses and minuses, and cognise where you stand on the tricky issues in life. In short, before tying the knot, you should know your partner inside and out. It’s not that difficult too. This article tells you some important aspects you should know before getting married.

Money matters

Although the cliché is ‘love comes before money’, nevertheless money plays a rather crucial role in matrimonial life. Therefore, it’s important to learn how to communicate about money matters before you get married. Discuss not only your savings and debts but also how finances will be shared during the marriage. Another important aspect to money is your attitude towards spending. If one partner is a miser while the other is spendthrift, believe me, life will not be easy. Therefore, both partners should be at least on the same page, if not possessing similar spending habits.

Annoying habits

Lots of these would be discovered only when both of you begin to live with each other under one roof on an everyday basis. Nevertheless, even during your dates, you could be able to gauge if your partner is a neatness freak while you are a messy soul, or if your partner is glued to their cellphone all the time, or your partner is quite dominating in the conversations, placing eating orders, or choice of movie or pub. Do not forget, if these annoying habits bug you while you’re dating, they will irritate you tenfold once you’re married.

Hence, getting to know of any eye-roll-worthy habits can help you make a better decision about how much can you adjust or cannot tolerate.

Trust

For a healthy and thriving relationship, it is important to have trust. It is essential for partners to know that their would-be-spouse is trustworthy and loyal.

Explore trustworthiness in your relationship by examining if your partner shares secrets or guards them from you. On the other hand do you feel your partner to be responsible or do you feel wary trusting them? If any of you have a suspicious kind of personality, it is better to talk it out now. Mistrust can really hamper a good relationship.

Career goals

If you are planning on getting married, the career goals of both of you will directly bear on your married lives. It is essential to understand about your fiancé’s work. Better still, try and talk about where you see yourselves in five years. You should also know if your partner has a stable job, are they planning on changing career moves or relocating for work at any point, does their work involve travel that would keep you apart for extended periods of time? Answers to these questions will give you a good clarity and insight.

Sexual harmony

Research indicates that marital satisfaction is significantly associated with sexual satisfaction. This is largely because of the emotional connection a couple develops during intimate moments. It is better to learn about your partner sexually before saying yes. But many a times it is difficult in the Indian scenario. If you and your spouse want to have sex after marriage, you can still have healthy sexual communications by discussing what you’re interested in and what your expectations are.

Role of the family

It’s good for both to be close to each other’s family but there are questions one must raise before committing to the relationship. When it comes to taking important decisions, will he involve his family or yours too? What would happen if you don’t get along with one of your partner’s relatives? Will his family members have free access inside your home? Whose decision is he most likely to buy in – his family’s or yours in case of disagreement? You must plan such discussions with your partner when things start to get serious between the two of you.

Communication

The ability to communicate plays a key role in how successful your marriage is going to be. In a study of 886 divorcing couples, 53% cited not being able to communicate with one another as a major cause of them growing apart. This statistic shows just how important it is for couples to learn the art of healthy communication. Start building your communication channels well before the marriage. When you communicate your feelings, your expectations or your despair, never leave any gap in communication. Similarly, while having disagreement or a fight, never leave room for miscommunication.

Ghosts of the past

Even though it may not be pleasant to talk about past relationships with the present lover, it is important to get to know your partner’s history before you settle down with them. Beware it may stir up jealousy and feelings of insecurity in you or your partner. For instance, if your partner has cheated in their past relationships, would this make you feel confident going into marriage? Most likely not. Filling in the blanks to your partner’s past relationships can help you make a more informed decision about whether you want to marry them.

Planning a family

You may not be planning on having kids anytime soon, but it’s still a good idea to get to know how your partner feels about becoming a parent. Just because you don’t want them now doesn’t mean you’ll never want them. Expanding a family depends on a lot of factors like monetary strength, career stability, personal health, responsibilities etc. One important piece of marriage advice is that if you want children and your spouse does not, do not go into the marriage hoping they will change their mind. This will only lead to resentment and heartbreak.

Spending the rest of your life with someone else is no easy decision to make! Kick start your marriage by getting to know your partner, learning how to communicate together, setting goals, and getting on the same page about your future. Doing these things before you tie the knot will set you off for a blissful married life.

By Prachi Bhardwaj

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