Many people have experienced this cycle or know at least one friend who is stuck in it. they would come back after dates and say that they broke up and then again the next day, they would have already patched up. But this is in no way a sign of healthy relation. You may think that the fact that 2 people are patching up means that they actually love each other deeply but just have arguments; but that is not the case. No healthy relation works like that. Take your friends for example; do you have days when you would break your friendship for stupid reasons and make up the next day? No, we have fight and might not talk for some time but breaking off something is completely different. People talk of breaking up when they experience deep hurt, so why do these people go back together?
When you keep going back to a partner who is not good for you then that means that you are no longer love but are simply ‘addicted to the idea of a relationship’. This can happen to anyone. If you talk to someone a lot then you do get addicted to talking to that person, or rather to talking. You need someone to talk to you the same amount of time that this other person is, but that hardly happens so you tend to go back to the same person. So, what can we do to stop all this? Here are a few tips that might be helpful:
Take it out of you: There are two ways to do it. you either talk about it or write it down somewhere. Writing things down in a letter or diary give you the feeling of talking to someone so it can be just as liberating as talking or even more, for there a few things that you might not want to talk about. When you, yourself talk about the whole situation and listen to story from your own mouth, you will realise how important it is to get out of an unhealthy relation.
Get a few hobbies: The main reason why people are so hung up on having a bf/gf, is because they are actually pretty bored in their lives. You go back home and then maybe you feel really bored or lonely and the idea of talking to someone gives you comfort. The only way out of this is to find something that interests you and to engage in constructive activities. Be it drawing, reading, singing or dancing, immerse yourself in something that you enjoy.
Learn to love yourself: It is so important to be true and forgiving of yourself. The day you realise how perfect and lovely a person you are, you would tend to pull yourself away from people who hurt you. The day you fall in love with yourself instead of others is when you would truly understand what a healthy relationship is.
Let go: Easier said than done but this step is the most liberating of all. Just chanting every day that you will break up with someone only makes you look pathetic and gives the feeling that you are just trying to seek attention. What you really need to do is finish it for once and all. Once you do the above things you would get more strength. Further find more hobbies out of the house that lets you meet new people. Interact with a number of people on daily basis to fill in empty spaces and before you know it, you will be over it.