Withdrawing from conversing and spending time with someone is what silent treatment basically is. You had a fight with your spouse and you are too mad to talk to him is just a little picture of silent treatment. If we had to sketch the whole scenario with, let’s say, B and A, it would look like this.

B and A had a fight. B put the blame on A and A wanted B to take the blame so A, after fighting for some time, got tired and decided to stay silent till things cooled down, or rather till B accepted his own faults. But B did not understand where he had gone wrong so he kept blaming, this time he also blamed A for ignoring and behaving unemotionally. A retorted once by saying that B was the one blowing things out of proportion but soon fell silent again. This became a cycle till both parties were convinced that the other does not hold them dearly and this hurt both and they separated.

Long story short, silent treatment is not onset by anger but hurt and it is the worst method to use on anyone. The pain it causes is actually equivalent to physical pain. Silent treatment is a common fighting method found mainly in spouses, couples and even family members like parents and children. It actually shows narcissist tendencies in a person. Remember that if you do not deserve this. A normal fight needs to be sorted through conversation. If your partner refuses to converse then there is something gravely wrong there. Of course, in most cases both the parties are at fault but if you feel that you have not done anything bad and your partner is just trying to impose his/her views on you then you need to stand your ground.


It is not easy to break free from this but there are a few ways:

Ask your partner this “If you don’t feel like talking now then we can sort this out later.” He/she not answer but this cool down the other person a bit. Next, wait for some time and ask again, “Do you think you will be able to discuss the matter now?” if he still doesn’t answer then it is better to retreat for you are not your partner’s mother or father. Your partner either needs to grow us or realize that he/she has an obnoxious narcissist trade.

If he/she tells you that you are asking for something in a very pushy manner or if he/she tells you to not do something then oblige for the moment. Don’t make a scene or your partner’s treatment will worsen and become unbearable.

You don’t know what he/she is actually thinking so it is better not to make random guesses. He/she might be put off by something completely different than what you think. Imagining things will only hurt you more.

Don’t give in and accept defeat if you are not the one who went wrong. Doing this is a wrong indication and will make him/her feel that all his demands will be met by using the silent treatment. This could be very damaging to you mentally.

Normally, it is very difficult to cope with someone who keeps resorting to the silent treatment. It is not healthy and displays narcissism in your partner and you don’t need such a person in your life. He/she might have turned out like this due to past experiences like having a broken family, heartbreaks or something else but that doesn’t mean that you need to become like them as well. Either you get your concerns through to him, or you move one for silent treatment is not healthy.

Categories: Relationship