Parents who constantly prioritise pleasing others and avoiding conflict may unknowingly raise children who grow into anxious, approval-seeking adults, according to psychologists and behavioural experts. A recent discussion in lifestyle and mental health circles highlights how people-pleasing parenting styles can shape emotional development, self-worth, and interpersonal behaviour long into adulthood.
Experts explain that people-pleasing parents often emphasise harmony over honesty, encouraging children to suppress their own needs to maintain peace. While such parenting may appear nurturing on the surface, it can send subtle messages that approval from others is more important than personal boundaries or authentic expression. Over time, children raised in such environments may internalise the belief that love and acceptance are conditional on meeting expectations.
Psychologists say that these children frequently grow into adults who struggle with decision-making, assertiveness, and conflict resolution. They may find it difficult to say no, fear rejection, and experience guilt when prioritising their own needs. According to behavioural specialists, this pattern often emerges because children learn by observing how parents respond to stress, criticism, and social pressure. When parents consistently avoid confrontation or overextend themselves to satisfy others, children may interpret this behaviour as the correct social strategy.
The concept is closely tied to traits like sociotropy, where individuals display an excessive investment in interpersonal approval and relationships, sometimes at the cost of their own well-being. Such tendencies can increase vulnerability to anxiety and emotional burnout, especially in environments where external validation becomes a key driver of self-esteem.
Mental health professionals emphasise that approval-seeking tendencies do not emerge overnight. Instead, they develop gradually through repeated reinforcement during childhood. For example, children who receive praise mainly when they meet others’ expectations rather than when expressing individuality may begin to associate self-worth with external validation. Over time, this can lead to chronic people-pleasing behaviours such as over-apologising, avoiding disagreements, or sacrificing personal goals for social acceptance.
Another contributing factor is the fear of disappointing authority figures. Experts say children raised in highly accommodating households may struggle to tolerate discomfort or conflict, because they rarely witness healthy disagreements modelled at home. As adults, they may feel compelled to maintain harmony at any cost, even when relationships become emotionally draining.
Psychologists also warn that approval-seeking adults often face challenges in professional and romantic relationships. They may take on excessive workloads, struggle with boundaries, or avoid expressing dissatisfaction, leading to long-term stress and resentment. In social settings, such individuals may become overly sensitive to criticism or constantly seek reassurance from others.
However, experts stress that awareness is the first step toward change. Therapists recommend practices such as identifying personal values, learning assertive communication skills, and gradually setting boundaries in low-risk situations. Parents, meanwhile, are encouraged to model balanced behaviour by expressing opinions respectfully, demonstrating healthy conflict resolution, and validating children’s emotions without demanding perfection.
Ultimately, psychologists say that parenting rooted in authenticity rather than constant accommodation can help children develop resilience, independence, and confidence. Encouraging self-expression while teaching empathy allows children to grow into adults who value relationships without losing their sense of self.