Building a new relationship, no matter personal or professional, is a lot like buying a new car, you have to care for it and maintain it in a proper manner. The same is true of relationships, and you can be your own mechanic.

Here are the four things that can fail or end relationships and steps you can take to overcome them are:-

OVER CRITICISM

Criticism is not a thing to be confused with delivering feedback or seeking improvement or change in another person. Criticism, in its most troubling form, focuses on the individual’s personality, character or interests rather than the specific action or behavior you’d like to see changed. Over criticism is a stage where a person is always considered wrong. Straight attack on the partner’s character is a stage of over criticism. It is guaranteed to put them in defensive mode and sets the tone for war.

  • Solution to CRITICISM

If you often find yourself criticizing when you planned on being constructive, it’s best if you don’t deliver your feedback and commentary until you’ve planned ahead. Just think before you act as actions speak more than words do. You’ll need to think through what you’re going to say and stick to your words in order to avoid criticism. If you find that you cannot deliver feedback without proper intentions to the other person’s personality, you’re better off, saying nothing at all.

2. CONTEMPT

 Contempt is something which offends the other person and makes him feel disrespected. Contempt is an act of insulting each other by making fun and rolling eyes and commenting sarcastically to each other. 

Solution to contempt

 Act of contempt starts from lack of interest of the two in each other.

When you find that you don’t enjoy or admire someone, just try to overcome and sort the problem by talking to each other, give some more time to your relations and try to enjoy each other’s thoughts. In the immortal words of Abraham Lincoln, “I do not like that man. I must get to know him better.”

  1. DEFENSIVENESS

 Denying responsibility, making excuses and other forms of defensiveness are not good in the relationships, because they prevent a conflict from reaching any sort of resolution. Only anxiety and tension is there, resulting in a no solution condition.

Solution to defensiveness

To overcome defensiveness, you have to talk to each other calmly and politely. Try to understand your partner’s perspective and his feelings. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with him. You can work together to resolve the conflicts.

  1. stonewalling

When one person shuts the discussion down by refusing to respond, that is stonewalling. Stonewalling is a problem, because if one person refuses to coordinate and the other person wants the conflict to be resolved, the person would become more upset. In other words, it prevents the two from working on resolving the conflict together.

Solution to stonewalling

If you are stonewalling, at least let the other person knows about your feelings and tries to solve the conflict as soon as possible. Less the time you take in expressing your feelings, less tension you would take.

Categories: Relationship