Komal was upset. Her new friend, Sarika, was stealing away her old friend, Rupa from her. Before Sarika became their friend, Komal and Rupa used to sorted out amicably. Since Sarika had entered as a third friend between them little problems were turning to big ones and all thanks to Sarika for this. She would gossip about Komal to Rupa and Rupa to Komal. Komal being more matured understood the divide and rule game Sarika was playing among friends but Rupa was not able to understand this and she started ignoring Komal. Their friendship took such a bitter turn that even their kids stopped playing with each other. Whereas, Sarika’s kids and Rupa’s kids became good buddies.
Friends are siblings God never gave us. Friendship is the most beautiful relationship that proves thicker than blood relations many times. You don’t get to choose blood relations but you definitely choose your friends and carefully maintain that relation. You may be having hundreds of friends on facebook and whatsapp groups, you may be part of many social groups or may be personally knowing many people but true friends or best buddies are always handful. Buddies that share your personal life, understand you and are there with you during thick and thin. And these are friends that rule your emotional health. So as much important it is to have a good friend, being a good friend is also important.
If you are a new friend between two already good friends it is important to acknowledge their friendship instead of being possessive or jealous and behave in a way that ruins their friendship. Never get in way to their old friendship but try to be a part of them. Here are some tips to follow if you happen to be that new third friend between two old buddies.
Do not be Partial:- If you are planning to buy something nice for your friends make sure you gift both of them somewhat similar things especially in monetary terms. Their birthday and anniversary gifts should also be of same value.
If you are planning a coffee date or calling for dinner, invite both together. Calling one and leaving out the other may ruin your friendship.
In case you are with only one friend for a movie or outing, don’t forget to make it up with the other one later.
Help both equally.
Do not be a separatist:- Do not gossip about one friend to another. By being a close friend to both, you may be knowing what negative they think about each other but keep silence and maintain the dignity of your friendship. Gossiping may hold you in a strong position for a time being but later will ruin your friendship with both when truth is out.
Do not give importance to one in front of other. Be neutral.
Do not be jealous:- Your best buddies were friends before you entered their lives so their comfort level with each other will be more. As they have spent more time together so they understand each other more. You are new and will be gradually accepted. Being jealous will only make you behave in a negative way. Acceptance that things work out differently and not the way you have planned will keep your relationship healthy and happy.
Do not expect self importance:- In friendship among three people all are equal. Expecting importance all the time will gradually leave you out. Everyone has a different area of interest. You may like Chinese food or romantic movies. Your other friends may like Indian food or action movies. If you accept their liking then yours will be accepted in turns.
Strengthen your friendship with both:- Strengthen your friendship with both separately so instead of being friends with best friends you have two good friends to hang out with and speak to separately as much as you do when you are together.
Never take sides:- Incase of any differences between your two friends never take sides but stay neutral. Don’t criticize one in front of the other to make the either side happy. Incase both your friends sort out their problems and resume friendship you will be in a fix by criticizing. Never choose a side to agree with for this will increase the fight. Be indifferent and calm without making assertions and assumptions. People just want someone to express their emotions when they turn to other relations. So do not get involved in the fight.