We all need someone to be in our life. We need support of the other destined partner to survive the daily struggles. We are most certain to stop a person from going away from us because it hurts like hell when they leave. In this way, we sometimes don’t let go of the toxic person and that effects our whole life in some or the other way. It never comes to our notice that sometimes how beneficial it can be to let someone go. It is important that we all understand the true meaning of being in a relationship with someone.
If you feel that the communication is good and it’s not giving you much pain then it’s a successful relationship. But you need to question yourself once more. Do you really think that such a small definition is enough for a lifetime journey. People fall in love and after few years they grow apart. Do you think it’s easy to fall out of love? No, it’s not. It is the absence of required knowledge about each other and your relationship that leads to the end of it. There are a lot of things that people don’t give much attention but it causes a lot of problems later. Let’s take a look at some of the things that must be considered before calling a relationship successful:
- Do You Trust Your Partner?
Trust is the first and the most important predictor of a long-term relationship success. Without trust, none of the other things will have much meaning. Is your partner reliable and dependable? Can you count on your partner as the “rock” in your life? For some, trust is a complicated matter. Some people trust blindly, while others have trust issues. Evaluate your partner’s trustworthiness based not upon unproven promises or wishful thinking, but on a strong overall record of dependability.
- How Do You Both Deal with Conflicts?
Couples with poor conflict resolution skills typically engage in Fight, Flight, or Freeze behaviors. They fight and stay mad, sometimes holding grudges for years. They flight and avoid important issues by sweeping them under the rug. Or, after endless arguments with no resolution in sight, they freeze emotionally and shut down. Someone who freezes in a relationship typically goes through the motions on the outside, but has stopped caring on the inside. Successful couples have the ability to solve problems and let it go. They focus on taking care of the issue rather than attacking the person. Even when angry, they find ways to be upset and stay close at the same time. Once the matter is resolved, they forgive and forget. Most importantly, successful couples have the ability to learn and grow through their interpersonal difficulties. Like fine wine, their relationship improves with age and gets better over time.
- Do You Have Compatible Financial Values?
Differences in financial values often appear early in a relationship. For example, who pays for the first date? What about the second date? And the third? Is your partner happy when you give a thoughtful but non-monetary birthday gift, or will he or she feel disappointed because you didn’t purchase something? Additional questions to consider include: Is your partner generally happy with what he or she owns, or is there a constant, insatiable desire to always acquire more? Are you and your partner able to solve financial difficulties and differences as a team? Numerous studies have identified disagreements over finances as one of the top reasons couples seek marital counseling, as well as one of the top reasons for divorce.
- What Does Your Relationship Makes You?
Consider the friends in your life. Do different friends bring out different sides of you? Maybe you’re more reserved with one and not with another. Perhaps you’re patient with some and quarrel with others. A friend may trigger your higher or lower tendencies. Just as a friend can elicit a particular side of you, so does your partner. Consider the following questions: Does my better self shows up when I’m with my partner? Does my worse self show up when I’m with my partner? Maybe it’s a combination of both. If so, what situations tend to bring out a particular side of me? Fundamentally, do I like myself in this relationship? Your honest answers to these questions offer important clues to the long-term health and happiness of your relationship.
Don’t forget all these things while calling your relationship successful. It is important that you always have a tick on all these attributes or at least you have the art of handling issues. I hope you find the one with whom you get a perfect and successful relationship.